The legend of King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table has been told and retold in a variety of ways. The premise of the round table is that there is no head. Everyone is equal there. This was a very idealistic relationship that society has carried over to marriage–everyone should be on equal footing. Society treats the idea of an authoritative head of the home as antiquated and barbaric. I propose a different term–biblical.
I want to preface this talk by saying that I am not married just yet, but these chapters were still incredibly beneficial for me as look towards getting married. Unfortunately unmarried women are rarely being taught what a biblical marriage should look like, unless you know someone that models one. Society has a variety of lies that are masked as true marriage. First, society tells us equality in marriage means the husband and wife should share the same roles. Elsewhere, we realize that different roles can lead to overall success, but this seems to often be overlooked in marriage. Secondly, I think fairy tales have really damaged our view of what marriage should look like. Young girls are given the impression that life is supposed to be happy ever after (birds singing in the background optional), but this puts unrealistic expectations on marriage that reality shatters.
The message we need to hear is that marriage is hard. It takes work. There will be great times, and there will be difficult times, too. But marriage is a beautiful partnership, that God, through his Word, has provided a picture. He has identified roles that will make the partnership of marriage successful and wonderful
As I look towards getting married, here are the most valuable points I gained from chapters 6 and 7:
1. Courtney included numerous Scriptures for marriage and God’s view of it from God’s reason for creating woman in Genesis 2:18 to the biblical roles of husband and wife in Ephesians 5:22-33. I believe it is important to know these verses before entering into marriage as we seek to apply Truth in our lives. Marriage is not meant to be entered into lightly, and these verses are vital for us to honor God in our marriage relationships.
2. The actions of the wife speak to her attitude, not to that of her husband. Society tells us to treat people with respect once they have earned it. As a wife, you are to treat your husband with respect regardless of whether or not he deserves it. Falling prey to society’s miscontrued views leads to a viscious cycle in which the wife disrespects her husband because of his attitude towards her, and the husband does not treat his wife with love because of her disrespect of him. Essentially, I can only be responsible for my actions.
3. Media vies for our attention in a way that previous generations have not experienced. For this reason, we have to decide what place it will have in marriage. This is insight I am definitely grateful for because even though I am not married, I have been dating the same guy for nearly two years, and I can see how important this could be. I am a blogger and Mark works for a computer company. Even now, media and technology play important roles in our lives. I think it would be easier to decide this up front than to address it once it has gotten out of hand.
4. I love the idea of dating your mate, even after you are married. We often here of couples divorcing after years of marriage because, once the kids are gone, they realize they know longer know each other. I don’t want to be a victim of this or to see other women be victims of this. I love that Courtney said, “Make your husband second priority only to God.” I have heard from so many women where the “mom guilt” causes them to push their relationship with their husbands to the back burner. It is valuable for children to see that marriage is a priority to their parents and sets a good example for them for the future.
5. Lastly (although I could say so much more), I love the actionable, bulleted lists included throughout these two chapters that are filled with practical, sage advice.
I hope you enjoyed these chapters and found them encouraging. Please click over to Women Living Well for more from Courtney and for the book club forum.